Sunday, August 2, 2009
Shared Memories: When I began to think about what I would write here about Ann, oddly enough what first came to mind was one particular incident: Ann had lost one of her hoop earrings and I offered to help her look for it. After a brief search I found it lying on the floor of the apartment. Well, Ann was so tremendously grateful that you would have thought that I had found buried treasure just for her. I think the reason this memory came to mind so readily (in addition to the fact that I felt those earrings were Ann's "signature" earrings), was that it revealed something of what Ann was like: So very appreciative of any interest or concern or kindness that you showed, no matter how small or insignificant it may have seemed in your own mind. Ann and I have been friends for over 25 years. During that time we had a lot of fun together: Day trips to Litchfield County, the poetry readings at Sunken Gardens in Farmington, the Essex train ride, picnics at Lyman's Orchards, dinners in restaurants, and even attending Mass together. But the activity we liked so well and did so often was go to the movies. Very often, after work, I would swing by and pick up Ann and off we'd go to see a great picture or mediocre one, or even one or two that were a disaster (in which we literally walked out of the theater). What has always amazed me was how much our tastes were alike. After watching a movie it would go something like this: "Well, what do you think Ann?" (Or "Mary, what do you think?") Our "take" on the film mirrored the other's exactly. It was rarely that we disagreed. Ann was: Attractive, smart, witty, insightful, appreciative, good-natured (although she could throw out a few satirical "zingers" now and then), honest, stoic, organized, sensitive, compassionate... Oh well, it goes on and on. In later years as Ann's world grew smaller, I gradually became aware that her mind and heart and spirit grew larger. At times when I visited her at MacDonough, she would talk about life and wax philosophical. (I would sometimes tease her about this.) But there were rare instances where Ann said things that were almost "other-worldly". Utterances so full of insight and wisdom that they bordered on the profound. At these times, I literally felt a sense of awe. The last time Ann and I were together, we sat outdoors on the patio. After our visit I rose to leave and asked her whether she wanted to go back inside or stay in the garden. She chose to stay. As I left her, I gestured to our hearts and said to her, "We have a strong bond." At this, she exclaimed, "Oh! How wonderful." To Ann's family I offer my deepest condolences. Ann will be sorely missed. But it is my belief that she has not left us. I believe that her star shines more brightly than ever and that it shines on us.
